Understanding and Accepting your LGBTQ+ Child

Family acceptance is the number-one determinant of LGBTQ+ youth safety, health, and wellbeing. All parents want their children to be safe and healthy. Still, when a child or teen comes out as LGBTQ+, family members might struggle to accept this truth, especially if they were raised in communities where LGBTQ+ people were not accepted or discussed.

It’s okay to temporarily feel grief when your child comes out as gay or transgender. It’s important to recognize, however, that what you are grieving is your expectation of how you imagined your child’s life in the future.

Your child is still right there in front of you: and by sharing their truth, they are moving closer to living a healthy, authentic life rather than one of denial or shame. To ensure that they make it through the challenges of LGBTQ+ childhood and adolescence, they need your unconditional love, support, and acceptance.

Here are some resources for families on the journey to acceptance:

Family Acceptance Project

• These research-based “Healthy Futures” posters, in multiple languages, share family behaviors that directly correlate to reducing LGBTQ+ youth depression, anxiety, substance abuse, and suicide.
• These family videos show how some families from many backgrounds learned to support their LGBTQ+ children.
• These family acceptance booklets support families learning to support their LGBTQ+ children in English, Spanish, and Chinese. Also included: booklet for LDS community members.

TransFamilies – This local organization provides support groups to transgender and gender-expansive youth of all ages and their parents/caregivers. Their website contains a wealth of parent resources including the following:

• Parent FAQs
• Support, Wait, or What?
• Understanding Transitions
• Support Group Info

Gender Identity Resources for Families:

• Supporting Your Gender Nonconforming Child (Human Rights Campaign)
• Patient and Family Resources (Seattle Children’s Gender Clinic)
• Article: Educating yourself and your family about gender identity
• Video: The Question of Blackness and Transness: How Can They Coexist? (Conscious Lee)

More Resources for Families:

• PFLAG: Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
• The Trevor Project Resource Center
• We Are Family, Too: A Love Letter to the Black Community (Lavender Rights Project)
• Muslims for Progressive Values: LGBTQI+ Resources
• Family is Still Family (Asian Pride Project)
• Asian Pacific American LGBTQ+ Resources (CAPAA)
• Familia Es Familia