On Demand Information for New Teachers
Communicating with Parents
Dealing With Stressed, Possibly Overburdened Parents. . . Assume Their Key Issue is the Whole Child

Phoning Parents | During the Call | Meeting with Parents | Preventative Measures

If the student's parents call you with an unexpected issue:

1. Acknowledge their frustration, concern, or anger.
2. Explain that you would very much like to talk with them when you have more time.

3. Agree on a specific date and time that is mutually convenient, and call them back then.

4. Before calling them back, follow the steps outlined below.

If you plan to call a parent about an issue:

1. Set up a file or some method to document contact with parent and to record your interactions with the student concerning this issue.
2. Be prepared with:

a) a clearly defined statement of the issue,
b) the student?s positive aspects/behavior/values (aside from this issue) that you can share with the parent, and any action taken to-date.

3. Check with other teachers who presently have this same student in their classes to find out:

a) How they have successfully handled similar issues with this student in the past.
b) If they are presently dealing with the same issues, ask what steps they have taken thus far.
c) If they also need to talk with parents about similar issues, ask if they are willing to have a joint meeting.

4. Look into the student?s file (usually in the front office or counselors? office) to find who was their last year?s math (science) teacher. Contact that teacher to ask about instances with similar issues and how they were handled.
5. Talk to student?s guidance counselor to find out as much as possible about the child and home life, previous dealings with parents, and if you should be aware of any previous situations that relate to or might give insight into your issue.

During the phone conversation:

1. Acknowledge parents? frustration, anger, and concerns.
2.
Emphasize the positive characteristics that their child has demonstrated in class?the student?s strengths and how they relate to your classroom norms, content, and/or process.
3.
Introduce the issue specific to the child?s difficulty with dealing with classroom norms, content, or procedures; as opposed to personality or behavioral traits or negative attributes.

a) Focus on the child?s key values.
b)
Explain how the student?s values may be counter to classroom norms.

4. Explain how you have handled this issue up to this point in time.

a) Suggest a meeting with student and parent to discuss solutions.
b)
If appropriate, suggest a meeting that would include the other teachers and/or administrator and counselor, the student and parents.

5. If the parent makes a negative statement, acknowledge the concern by paraphrasing without responding defensively. Then ask clarifying or probing questions to find out more detail about the concern.

a) You can restate what you think the parent is telling you about their child?s needs.
b)
You can explain what your goals are for the class and the method that you use to obtain those goals. But remember, the parents are advocating for their child, not the whole class, so make your comments specific to what you see as the needs of this particular child.

6. Suggest a meeting date to discuss how both the child?s needs and the goals for the class can both be met.

a) If you are uncomfortable meeting with or dealing with this particular parent, ask if it would be okay with them for you to have your mentor teacher, a counselor, or an administrator join the meeting.
b)
If you have spoken with other teachers and they want a joint meeting, tell the parents who the other teachers are, and ask them if they would be willing to have a joint meeting so that solutions can be decided upon that would be consistent in all the child?s classes.

Meeting with parents and student:

1. Preparation prior to the meeting:

a) Research the issue.

i) Consider what part of the issue you can take responsibility for, and are willing to make changes.
ii)
You may want to have the class, in which this student is a member, do a free-write concerning this issue. You can ask them if they are having similar problems and to share their suggestions for solutions.
iii)
Prepare a tentative suggestion for alleviating the problem that will not conflict with the child?s values and that will address the other students? suggestions/concerns.
iv)
Ask other teachers, read research on the topic, ask an administrator/counselor for ideas for dealing with the issue.

b) Arrange for a meeting place that will be comfortable for the number of people attending, and for the topic being discussed.

i) Round tables are preferable, but if using a long rectangular table, sit in the middle of one of the long sides. (This is usually called the power seat, as you can control the conversation at either end of the table.) If you have an administrator join you, sit next to him/her.
ii)
If meeting in the classroom, make sure the seating is comfortable for adults, arrange the seats in a circle, and make sure all the seats are similar. (Do not use your teacher?s chair when others are seated at student?s desks

2. At the meeting:

a) Greet parent and student at the door of the school or in the front office, walk them to the meeting room and introduce them to others at the meeting. Suggest that they sit together.
b)
Assure student and parents that your objective is to help this student be successful.
c)
Restate the issue/concern for the benefit of the whole group.
d)
Share research you have collected and any adjustments that have been made, or changes the student has made, since the last conversation.
e)
Ask parents to share their thoughts, observations, and suggestions.
f)
Ask the child for his/her input about the issue and what has been discussed so far at the meeting.
g)
Explicitly document what each participant will be responsible for: what you plan to do, what the child will do, and if applicable, what the parent or administrator will do.
h)
Specify a date to revisit this issue either in person, by telephone, or email to discuss how things are going for all involved.
i)
If not able to totally resolve, suggest intermediate steps to be taken, and set a date to meet again to discuss progress and any adjustments to be made.

Preventative measures for dealing with parents

1. A parent letter should be sent out at the beginning of the year that introduces you as the math/science teacher, it should include contact information.

2. Contact the parents of each student before the end of first month/quarter to share positive values, positive aspects of behavior or skills demonstrated by their student. It is preferable to do this by telephone or, if you are unable to contact parent by phone, you can send a personal letter.

3. At Curriculum Night present a very short demonstration lesson that will show the parents how you plan to teach. Explain the classroom norms and teaching/learning objectives. Share possible difficulties that students may have with the teaching style or content and indicate how the parents can deal with these issues.

4. Communicate students? progress weekly either through students? agendas (day-timer), Web page link to grade book, or e-mail or letter home. The Source is another resource available to communicate with parents. http://source.seattleschools.org

5. Communicate objectives for content and process at the start of each new unit. This should include recommendations for how parents can assist their child or find assistance for their child. This can be in the form of a letter, email, or Web page link.


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Prepared by UW TEP program participants.
Last update: 2/22/06